Many a rom-com ends with a final kiss, stopping just short of what the reality of “happily ever after” might look like. There’s the chores to divide. The TV shows to share (while resisting the urge to skip ahead). The finances to mingle — starting, in many cases, with a joint checking account.
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Creating this account carries far more emotional weight than setting up a checking or savings account as a single person. It’s a sign of trust with your shared resources, including your hard-earned money — calling for both partners to be in sync when it comes to their approach to money. That’s why it’s crucial to establish clear ground rules to protect your money and your relationship.
GOBankingRates sought out insights from experts with a background in psychology who could speak to this common yet highly personal financial decision. Here’s what they say you should do before setting up a joint account with your partner.
Make a Commitment to Transparency
The foundation of any strong relationship is transparency, and money matters are no exception. In an interview with Brides magazine, Katie Dorman, certified financial therapist and owner of Sound Financial Therapy LLC, emphasized the need for transparency when setting up a joint account: “Couples using a joint bank account are working with the same information. Both are aware of how much money is coming in and going out as a household.”
To maintain financial clarity, make transparency your top priority. Be candid about the kinds of purchases you plan to make with the account, and make it a point to review your statements together. If you’re considering making a purchase using the account and you haven’t discussed it with your partner in advance, it’s better to check in before checking out of the store.
Have a Shared Vision About How You’ll Use the Account
While it might be easier to allow one person to manage household finances — especially if that practice aligns with certain gender roles you’ve observed in your family — resentment can build over time if one partner feels left out of financial decisions.
Dorman told Brides that setting expectations about how you’ll each use the account is essential for successfully managing it. Together, you should come to a consensus about what kinds of expenses the account will cover.
Should it only be for necessities? Major expenses, like household appliances? Are splurges allowed, and if so, should they stay under a certain limit? When can you or your partner make emergency purchases without consulting each other?
You should be willing to talk openly about your feelings and values around money, and encourage your partner to do the same. Being on the same page about money will lead to a stronger relationship, and being candid — even vulnerable — about your financial history can only deepen your trust and intimacy.
Commit to Monitoring the Account Together
Just as you’d carefully monitor your own bank accounts, you’ll need to keep an eye on your joint account — and make sure tracking its activity is a shared effort. Both partners should be aware of the account balance and adjust spending accordingly if funds are running low.
“If only one person is regularly reviewing the account, this can lead to financial conflict, as well as resentment,” Dorman warned.
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By keeping an open dialogue and checking in on your finances together, you can avoid misunderstandings and keep your relationship — and your bank account — on solid ground. After all, money is just one part of the equation. At the end of the day, what matters most is that you and your partner feel like a team, working toward the same goals.
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This article originally appeared on GOBankingRates.com: I’m a Financial Therapist: Don’t Set Up Joint Accounts Without These 3 Ground Rules
The views and opinions expressed herein are the views and opinions of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of Nasdaq, Inc.
