What someone says is one thing, but behavior is a language. It’s easy to cross the line with your loved ones from being protective to enabling bad habits, but when it comes to finances the hardest part is to stop a pattern you didn’t initially recognize. Financial expert Dave Ramsey knows that tough love can be the best medicine and advises you to stop enabling and start planning.
Check Out: I Made $10,000 Using One of Dave Ramsey’s Best Passive Income Ideas
Read Next: 6 Unusual Ways To Make Extra Money That Actually Work
Quick Take: Ramsey’s Enabling Example
In a recent podcast episode from The Ramsey Show, a woman called in to ask for advice about her husband who has been out of work since 2011. He was a well-educated pharmacist, yet couldn’t get a job in the last 13 years. Though at first this might inspire sympathy, Ramsey had a few key takeaways.
- Her husband’s behavior is telling her that he doesn’t want to work, not that he can’t get a job as he could get an entry-level position just to help her make ends meet.
- She was enabling him through financial support because he never felt pressured to get a job outside of his field.
- Instead of enabling him through support she needs to be honest with him about her losing respect for his work ethic.
- Not wanting to pay him alimony is not reason enough to stay with him or at least be honest in her communication.
Learn More: Dave Ramsey: 7 Vacation Splurges That Are a Waste of Money
Financial Enabling vs. Tough Love
The desire to help the ones you love financially can lead you down a dangerous path — one of financial enabling. Bailing someone out of a bad spot over and over again ensures that they don’t have a problem; you do, because if you’re always fixing something the onus is on you, and the freedom is saved for them. This is especially true when you give without limits, bail out your loved ones repeatedly or fail to set boundaries.
Ramsey has spoken at length about the importance of breaking this cycle and loving our families enough to stop enabling their bad financial habits. This type of enabling occurs when you continually provide money or support to someone without holding them accountable for their own financial decisions.
Whether it’s constantly bailing out a sibling who’s bad with credit cards or covering the rent for a child who refuses to budget, financial enabling can create long-term harm. It allows the recipient to avoid responsibility, perpetuates poor financial habits and can strain relationships in the long run.
Ramsey argues that true love involves helping family members become financially independent rather than rescuing them every time they hit a rough patch. At the end of the day, financial freedom isn’t just about having enough money — it’s about having the discipline and wisdom to manage money well. By refusing to enable, you’re helping your loved ones build a future where they can stand on their own, make wise financial choices and find true peace with money.
How To Break the Cycle of Financial Enabling
No one wants to see a family member suffer or struggle. In some cases, financial enabling comes from your own upbringing and what you were taught about money. If money was used as a tool of control or reward in your family, you may have absorbed these habits and now mirror them in your relationships.
Ramsey says breaking the cycle of enabling starts with having difficult but necessary conversations. Here are a few key strategies he recommends.
- Set clear boundaries: It’s crucial to set firm financial boundaries with your family members. This might mean saying “no” to loan requests, no longer co-signing on loans or cutting off financial support if it’s being misused. While it may be tough at first, boundaries are essential for fostering independence.
- Provide tools, not handouts: Instead of giving money, provide tools and resources that can help your loved one become more financially literate. Point them toward resources like Dave Ramsey’s “Financial Peace University,” help them create a budget or encourage them to attend personal finance workshops.
- Be honest about your limits: You have to be honest not just with your family but also with yourself. If helping someone financially is hurting your own financial situation, you need to recognize when enough is enough. This can mean cutting back on gifts, loans or support that is harming you or creating stress in your life.
- Be prepared for pushback: Changing family dynamics can lead to tension. Some family members might be upset when you start setting limits, especially if they’ve come to rely on your help. Ramsey emphasizes that this discomfort is temporary and necessary for long-term growth.
- Encourage responsibility: If your loved one is in financial trouble, the best thing you can do is guide them to take responsibility for their actions. This might involve helping them find a financial counselor, assisting them in planning how to pay off debt or encouraging them to pick up extra work to boost their income.
Final Take To GO
The bottom line is that protecting and supporting the ones you love comes naturally, but letting it progress into enabling poor financial habits shouldn’t. Ramsey promotes his philosophy of tough love to nip this in the bud, as the most loving thing you can do is guide your family toward financial freedom, even when it’s hard. In the end, you’re not just helping your family manage their money better — you’re helping them invest in a better future.
More From GOBankingRates
- 5 Low-Risk Accounts Financially Savvy People Trust for Reliable Returns (And How You Can Use Them)
- I'm a Retired Boomer: Here Are 10 Things I Always Buy From Dollar Tree To Save Money
- 6 Subtly Genius Moves All Wealthy People Make With Their Money
- This Free Money Move Could Nearly Double Your Lifetime Investment Returns
This article originally appeared on GOBankingRates.com: Dave Ramsey: Love Your Family Enough To Stop Enabling Their Bad Financial Habits
The views and opinions expressed herein are the views and opinions of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of Nasdaq, Inc.
